Tuesday, December 3, 2013

And then it happens

Over the past few years, I've spent my life with walls up. Here. There. Sideways. You get the gist. Walls up like nobodies business. It's not a good way to live. But I've gotten by.

One of the worst feelings ever to me is 

V U L N E R A B I L I T Y 


            a. Susceptible to physical or emotional injury
            b. Susceptible to attack

Okay, no one can tell me that those two things sound nice. Because they don't. But life isn't always nice. And life isn't fair. And sometimes, just sometimes, you've got to take a risk. Take the walls down. Let people in. Open up. Smile for once. A real smile. Let yourself be free. Because truly, letting walls down is freeing. And since being home, I've tried to free myself. I've tried to push old drama behind me. I've tried to not create new drama. I've tried to let go. In return, I feel vulnerable. But. I have to realize that this can be a beautiful emotion. One that shows that innocence can still live within me. One that shows that love can be real. One that shows that I can be me. One that shows that life is full of surprises and every day presents me with an opportunity to learn something new.

I don't need to be so hard. I don't need to be so sassy. I just need to be happy, and love.

What i'm trying to get at here, is, I need to be okay with putting everything on the line. I need to be okay with possibly getting hurt. Because it happens. I used to think it was better to not love again, than to get hurt again. But i'm changing my mind. I'm starting a new chapter. And i'm letting go. Join me. It might be fun. <3