This is life now

Wow. Where do I even begin? I've been home for 8 weeks tomorrow. 2 months. Where did the time go? I feel a load of emotions, especially today. A family from Parker, the last area I served in, came by today. It was amazing to see them. It brought back a flood of emotions.

It's really hard to be home. On my mission, I knew who I was, and what I needed to accomplish. When I got home, I lost that identity. With that comes emotions I have never experienced before. Who am I? What is my purpose now? Does anyone care anymore? A woman in my last area who had served a mission told me that the hardest thing for her when she went home was that she wasn't the "main attraction" anymore. She went from being THE candle, to a candle among many other candles. I thought she was ridiculous for saying that. But now, I get it. No one cares about Britny the way they cared for Sister Baker. And, I need to be okay with that.

It's a stupid thought to have, but while serving, I just felt that time stood still at home. But it didn't. Life is changed now. People are changed. Most importantly, I'm changed. It's bittersweet.

Before my mission, I ran wild. People see me as that still. Or do they? Maybe i'm the only one who sees me as that still at times. I'm trying to mix crazy "old Britny" with returned missionary Britny. It's a hard thing to balance.

I think life is beautiful. I've contemplated many times since being home why God allows things to happen, specifically to me. Really, that is the beauty of life. We get to experience things and become something. What a beautiful gift it is.

Overall, although life is hard, I love it. My dad gave me a priesthood blessing tonight and it strengthened me. The church is true. The priesthood is real. My life is good. It is oh so good. I don't need to care what anyone says of me. All I need to do is care what God sees in me, and how I can become that person.

August 26, 2013

Hey everyone :)

So, lets just start out with a quote by Neil L Anderson from his talk, Trial of your faith.

"With faith comes trials of faith bringing increased faith."

One of my favorite quotes ever and I feel like that describes Parker. THIS WEEK WAS AMAZING.

So as we all know, Parker has been rough. I mean even member after member will come up to us and say, "how are you doing? This area is so hard, are you discouraged?" Of course we are discouraged, but we try not to dwell on it. I have been praying so hard for focus, success, love, and the work to go forward here. I put my faith in the Lord when I got here and it's just been trial after trial! Well, this week my faith was finally strengthened from my trials.

So we have been really pushing member missionary work, and it's been kind of rough. Everyone has had to change their way of thinking because not a lot of members do missionary work here. So we were eating dinner at the Elders Quorum house and we asked them for referrals. They said that their neighbor across the street needed some love. So in our mission we have stopped the "tracting" approach and do "prayer" approach. We knock doors and offer blessings on homes as representative of Jesus Christ. We say it takes 5 minutes of their time and we won't stay any longer. Who doesn't have 5 minutes? EVERYONE does. So it's pretty effective. We then ask what they want blessed and if they know anyone who needs a blessing. Then we kneel together. After the prayer which we offer as Sisters by virtue of our calling, we ask how they feel. If they feel the spirit, they are open and we invite them to learn more. If they don't feel anything, we know it's not their time. So anyways, we knocked their door the next day and she answered. We offered a blessing on her home and she said she would love it but she would love for her husband to be there. She said to come back the next day. When we went back, her husband was running late from work and wasn't home. She invited us in and cried to us about how she wants to change. We testified to her and asked if we could come back the next day. So Saturday night we went back and her husband was there :) He was SO nice and invited us in. We had an AMAZING discussion with them and taught a first lesson. The spirit was so strong. We invited them to baptism and they said they wanted to pray about it. They are so excited to read the Book of Mormon and pray to know if it's true. They have an amazing desire to grow. It was so amazing!!!! I haven't had a lesson like that in so long. I left their house full of gratitude. But before we left we gave a blessing on the home. We asked what blessings they needed and I offered up the prayer. I felt the spirit so strong. I blessed that Trina would know who she was, a daughter of God, with divinity in her. I blessed that Michael would turn to the Lord in all things and as he did so, he would be able to help his wife. I was crying at the end of the prayer. As I opened my eyes, Michael was glowing. His countenance has changed. We have an appt with them tomorrow and I can't wait. :)

So that is 2 new investigators.

Then last night we went to see ------- I have talked about her a lot before. She is not a member, but all her family is(kids, husband). She comes weekly and even went to girls camp. She is so scared to take the lessons because she doesn't want to take them and feel it isn't true and disappoint everyone. Well a couple weeks ago I left her an invitation to prayerfully seek out taking the lessons(she has been asked my many missionaries and has yet to really take them as far as I know). Last night we had an appt. with her. We really studied hard before going over on how we could help her say yes. We got to her house and I said we were there to follow up on her prayer. She laughed and said she loved how honest I was...she paused and said, "I'll take them." Oh my GOSH! I about died. I didn't even have to try to convince her. Her husbands mouth dropped because she hadn't told him. Oh my gosh. It was amazing. We talked then about her fears, how she could really know it's true and just it was amazing. She was crying and I just know she will be baptized SOON. :) She is ready. What a miracle. We told some of the ward council and everyone is SO excited. This has been a long time coming. So excited I get to teach her. 

Another investigator. Three total this week!!! :) YAY! The Lord has truly blessed us for trying so hard to do all we can. It's amazing. I feel so blessed. I'm so excited I get to finish my mission this way.

WHat else this week? We had a relief society activity and ------- came :) She met some women in the ward which was great. Our relief society president is really reaching out to her. I also went to the Temple this week :) The new video is amazing and I loved it. It made me think a lot more and understand things more fully.

Also, one more cool story. It was pouring rain and a huge storm. We had 15 minutes in between appointments and I didn't want to waste the time. We prayed how we could fill our time. Sister Hauet said we should visit some less actives. I felt we should go see -------. We showed up and she let us in because it was pouring rain. We got to talk to her and her fiance and they are letting us come back :) She was so willing to have us back in her home. Hopefully we get to teach them, too.

So, that was my week. I feel just on top of the world right now. I'm so happy that success is finally coming. I'm finding a true love for so many people here in Parker.

I'm grateful for the church. I know I needed to come on a mission to overcome so much of my past and develop into who the Lord wants me to be. I'm grateful I'm changed. LOVE YOU ALL :)

-Sister Baker

July 29, 2013

Hi everyone :)

How are you all? I hope oh so good :)

I'm doing so good right now! :) Life is good. Missionary work is great. 

So guess what happened this week.... I got my "death letter." This letter is the letter that says when I'm going home, what will happen the few days before I go home, how to make goals for life after the mission and so on. OH MY GOSH IT WAS SO WEIRD. I was like freaking out haha. I had gotten a call on Tuesday? And the mission office asked if I wanted to go home September 30th or November 11th. I feel like I'm supposed to go home in September so I told them that is when I wanted to go and she talked to me about scheduling my flight and what airport I wanted to fly in to. It was funny because Monday night I was telling Sister Jones I should be getting a death letter soon and then Tuesday I got that call. Then Wednesday I got the letter. I felt like in a daze when I read it. All of a sudden going home became real. It was weird. As I read over the letter it lead me to reflect on my mission and how far I have come and how fast the next 2 months will go. I can't believe that I'm actually a missionary still and that it's almost over. I'm such a different person now. I am so grateful I have this chance to serve. Best thing I have ever done. I'm glad the Lord continued to prompt me to come after I tried to fight the promptings so many times.

Yesterday, there was a new member fireside and I was talking to Brother Pulsifer (the High Councilor for missionary work whom I just love because he reminds me of you dad) and we were talking about me going home. He has a daughter serving right now, too, and we were talking about how the mission changes the missionary more than anything. I talked to him about how I was inactive before I came out and I felt like an idiot in the MTC because I didn't know what anyone was talking about. I then bore my testimony to him about how I finally have a testimony and about how the atonement is real. He then said, "Sister Baker, the first couple weeks of your mission, you needed your mission. After that, the mission needed you. GO YOU. You are a strong woman. Parker needs you, and so do the other Sisters here." It was like the nicest thing ever to hear someone say that.  After talking to him and going home, I was writing in my journal and I had such an OVERWHELMING feeling of peace. People keep asking me if I feel stressed and keep wondering if "I've done enough as a missionary" and last night I felt peace that I have. I have of course made mistakes along the way of being a missionary, but I feel that I have become who Christ intended me to become out here. It's great to look back and feel accomplished. I'm so grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost that gives us that comfort to allow us to know we are doing enough. 

We did some more service this week at both the farms and it was awesome :) I love being on the farm. Okay.. so I would never want to actually live on a farm.. but it's fun for like 5 hours a week. I shoveled up poop this week and everyone there says I'm an expert lama herder because I always catch them when we have to take them out hahahhaah. Ya... I'm a pro farm girl.. what can I say ;)

We had a lesson with the -------family this week. We taught the girl who just got baptized.. and HER DAD SAT IN :) It was so great. He totally was listening to everything, too. We made a point to talk a LOT about families being together forever because we were teaching the plan of salvation. It went so well. SIster------- text us afterwards and said he loved us :) Making progress!!!! YAY!!

We saw Moises this week, too. He is doing so great. He is like the most prepared person ever. He moves Saturday, but I will still be keeping in touch with him. So grateful I got to teach him.

 RIght now we are on the search for more people to teach. It's a rough area to find.

Oh, also, this week we had interviews. I LOVE my new mission President. He is amazing and so in tune with the spirit. It was funny, we started the interview and he goes, "Sister, I hate to say this, but you're going home soon!" So we talked about staying focused on my mission but also having goals for back home. HE let me get online and look up my schooling just to see where I am at. It was cool to get on and see what classes I had taken and stuff because I couldn't remember anything because well I haven't thought about it for 16 months haha. So he is being so cool and I just love him.

Well, that was my week. The church is true :)

LOVE YOU ALL

-Sister Baker

July 15, 2013

This week has been pretty dang good.

 

So most of you know, but I am training, and it's going pretty good. Her name is Sister Jones. She is waiting for her visa to Brazil and we are starting to become friends. I told her of my struggles when I first got out and how the Lord helps us grow in ways that we could of never imagined!! It's so true though. I have had so much growth since I have been on my mission.

 

So Parker stake is AMAZING. Saturday morning we had breakfast at one of the members of the Stake Presidency's homes. The whole zone came and we all got to know each other. Some wards in this mission have 4 SETS of missionaries in their wards. Right now in Parker, a lot of wards have 2 sets. There are 12 SETS of missionaries in this stake. It's amazing. Then on Sunday, we had a big meeting with all the missionaries, the stake presidency, the bishops, and all the ward mission leaders. We talked about allowing the work to move forward here and how we will utilize the members to do that. The meeting was at 6.. yesterday I was in meetings from about 6AM to 6PM.. It was insane. But so beneficial. The work is moving forward here. We had that meeting in the morning, then we met with the ward council, then we met with the ward missionaries, and then we had a meeting with our Bishop. SO GREAT. Our Stake Presidency is making it so that our ward mission leaders are basically making our schedules. The ward mission leaders are supposed to fill any gap we have in the day with meaningful appointments. This will allow us to have at least 20 lessons a week and constantly be busy. It's so cool. I've NEVER been in a ward or stake sooooooo on top of things. I feel so blessed right now.

 

Sister Jones and I have been busy EVERY day this week ALL day. It's been such a blessing. We have had appointments and meetings and just lots of things to do. We are starting to implement a family mission plan here so we are meeting with all the members of the ward. The stake also provided every companionship with a thumb drive that has 4 presentations on it. The presentations are for JustServe.org, mormon.org, family tree, and pathways program. So we can start showing these to members as well to help them do missionary work. We have so many "tools" to use and now we get to see the miracles start coming by implementing them.

 

So at the front of our planners there are all these finding ideas. Our mission president committed us all to using all the finding ideas. So Sister Jones and I have been doing that. One of them says to go to funeral homes and get our names on the clergy list. We found a funeral home in our area and were super skeptical to go in. But we felt we should. So when we went in, we were so welcomed. Turns out the owner, who greeted us, is a less active member. She was so excited we dropped in. She said other churches have tried to put things in the funeral home but that she didn't accept. But she gladly accepted our help and told us we could put cards in there for people to call us if they needed help. It was truly a miracle. :)

 

Also, this week I have had such a renewed desire to work hard and be obedient. Sister Jones and I have been getting up and just trying to make sure we do everything right. I see the Lord blessing us for doing so.

 

Yesterday we had an amazing lesson with ------. We taught it with the Elders because technically he is supposed to be in the ward they are in. Anyways, he hasn't been coming to church a ton, so we taught it on obedience and the Sabbath day. we were all nervous because we didn't have much time to coordinate our lesson plans together. But the Spirit just took over. I felt the spirit so strong in the lesson, stronger than I have in awhile. I'm not sure what is going on in his life, but I was able to promise him that if he will go to church every week that all the things that are going on in his life will be sorted out. The spirit was SO strong. It was so powerful. The other 3 missionaries there then testified of my promise made and it was so amazing to have all of us testify to him. He committed to coming to church and he is getting baptized in Peru on the 4th of August :) :) I'm so excited and happy for him. It's a miracle. He is so ready. We are getting all the details sorted out with the mission president in Peru.

 

This week I have just felt so good about life. I feel like these next few weeks I have are going to fly by and that I'm going to enjoy my last bit here if I work hard. I feel at peace, and I just have been able to look back on the growth I have made. I'm so blessed to be here. I'm so blessed to have a testimony. There is no greater gift at this time than to know what I know.

 

I LOVE YOU ALL :)

 

-SIster Baker

June 24, 2012

How are you all doing? I hope so great :) My week was pretty good. This week I have really gained a renewed desire for the work. It's been amazing.

 

So we have been doing service quite a bit for this lady, and she is not a member. She is an older lady, and the first time we did service for her, she was pretty stand off-ish. She didn't seem appreciative at all that we were helping her. But we have continued to do service for her, and now we have built a relationship with her :) We love going over to her house and she is so appreciative of all we do now. She has become our friend and she is even opening up about her beliefs. The last two times we went over, we were able to share a thought with her and say a prayer as well. She is coming along. In most of my other areas, all the service opportunites came just from members. It's been such a testimony builder to me to see how Lynn is opening up just from us serving her and not pushing anything on her. We are building a friendship with her and now she is trusting us. It makes me just want to go and serve everyone!!!!  Because it truly opens doors. I can't remember if I mentioned this, but the Denver North mission is piloting a program for the church, along with just one another mission. They are becoming a part of justserve.org and it's all about service in the community. So going into the new mission will be fun and full of service! I am excited.

 

We met with -------- this week, and he is doing so good. There was a baptism on Friday night and we called him and asked if he would like to attend. He agreed to come and meet with us beforehand. We hadn't seen him in awhile so we were hesitant about how the meeting would go. But it went great. We talked about baptism because he had never attended a baptism for our church before and he told us that he had been thinking a lot about his own baptism and that he knows it is the thing to do! He is amazing. His dream is to be baptized in Peru where he was introduced to the church and where his family is. We told him that we had been praying a lot about when he could be baptized and we knew he could be baptized on July 7th. We invited him to take the question of when he should be baptized to the baptismal service. During the service he was really paying attention. Afterwards he told us how great it was. He said that after seeing the person baptized with so many family members around he too wanted to be baptized in Peru with his family around. When he said these words, I felt peace and knew that it would be good for his family to see his baptism for they are not members. We are continuing to teach him and the first week of August he has a flight to Peru to be baptized there :) SO that is exciting.

 

On Wednesday this week, we had a specialized training. It was on family history and obedience. It was so good. I felt the spirit so strong. I also had a good interview with President Anderson.. since I won't be seeing him again till a mission reunion or something. I was able to meet my new mission president and I voiced to him that I wanted to train my last two transfers. President Anderson also told him that he would like me to train again as well..so hopefully that happens. I'm excited about my new Mission President and Wife.. they are AWESOME! It's what I need. I need a new boost.. and a new mission.. 

 

Then this week we went on exchanges. I got to go with Sister Kartchner.. my like most favorite companion..and it was JUST what I needed. She goes home in a transfer and we both have been struggling with similar things. We set goals and decided how we can finish strong. It's truly what gave me the desire to be a more motivated missionary. I love that girl. While together, we said prayers for each other and it was amazing. I'm just excited to be here.. and to see the work go forward in this rough area.

 

This week we taught a lesson on prayer and it was awesome. We taught about how the atonement was a prayer.. and what that signifies. I love prayer. I have such a testimony of it.

 

That is my week :) LOVE YOU ALL

 

-SIster Baker

June 3,2013

Hello Everyone :)

SOOOOOO... I'm getting transferred to Parker... I'm not sure.. but I think I might be going to a new mission? But I don't know. There is a part of Parker that is going to now be in the Denver South mission... but I don't know where the boundries are and for sure where I will be. Parker is a rich area from what I know. I guess it's pretty hard to work there. But I'm so excited. Sister Iva is my companion.. she is from Samoa. I love her! She is way cool. We can't open our transfer call paper that says what exactly is happening because it doesn't work on the computer I am on.. So that is all I know. But we are flushing the area together! SO CRAZY :) I'm super excited. I love Salida.. but I need a change in my life for sure. I'm way sad that Sister Hansen won't be my companion anymore.. but that's what missions are all about.. getting new areas and new companions.

This week went pretty good though. Right now we are in Alamosa. There was a baptism down here last night and lots of missionaries went. Then we stayed the night at the Sisters and the zone is having a BBQ for Pday. Should be fun :)

So, our new ward mission leader is amazing. He is really doing great at fellow shipping. ------is still planning on being baptized on Sunday. Too bad I won't be here.. but I think the baptism will surely happen and him and his dad will work together to become clean for life :) I'm so happy with the success that has been had in Salida.

Yesterday in church, there were so many less actives that came and women who stay at the nursing home. It was so fun to see so many people at church my last week there. While sitting in Sacrament, I felt prompted to bear my testimony. I wasn't really sad before bearing my testimony about leaving (I found out I was getting transferred Thursday), but when I got up and looked at the Branch I had to fight back tears. I really love Salida. It's been rough.. as every area has been.. but I truly love so many people there. Sister Cole got up and bore her testimony and talked about me and Sister Hansen as she just cried. It was so nice. So many people that I wasn't even that close with in the Branch pulled me aside and told me what a blessing I have been and how much they will miss me. One member told me that I am a special missionary. So nice. I felt so loved yesterday and just heart broken about leaving. But I know my time is up and that a new area needs me :)

Anyways, that is about it for the week. I feel all frazzled right now because I'm going to a new mission I think and it's just CRAZY :)

But I am just so glad that I am a missionary. I love being here. I know the church is true :)

LOVE YOU ALL

-Sister Baker

so it's confirmed.. I'm going to a new mission!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 8

My week was really good! It seems like a blur though. It flew by. The days are all blending together and time is going too fast. AHH. Hahha

Sister Hansen and I are starting to go to all the YW activites because there is only one active YW and she is a convert. So we went to the activity this week and it was fun to hang out with the YW girl. She is hilarious.

So on Friday night, Sister Hansen and I were planning for Saturday. We had nothing scheduled in except for conference and dinner. I had the impression that we should do a fast to find people to teach and to also receive the answers we are seeking for from conference. Sister Hansen thought it was a great idea. We said a prayer and felt that we should fast to find 3 new people ready for baptismal dates. We also asked to receive answers to prayers from the prophets. After the Sat morning session, we didn't take a lunch break.. we just tracted for those 2 hours. Then after the Sat afternoon session, we went tracting for another 2 and a half hours before dinner. We taught SOOOOO many lessons. Found 2 new investigators. Invited like 4 people to be baptized. And just felt so good. We didn't find 3 people wiht a date like we wanted.. but as I was pondering whether my faith was strong enough.. I got to thinking about my will vs. the Lord's will. Just because we wanted to see that, doesn't mean the Lord had it in store for us that day. We did see so many miracles and I know that we were blessed for our fast. I received all the answers I wanted from conference and learned an important lesson about the Lord's will. Needless to say, we were exhausted that evening when we went in. It had been a long, good day. We worked our butts off. We met a lady while tracting who I really feel will be baptized. Her name is Beverley and she is awesome. She is about 70.. and when she opened the door she told us that she is searching for a church and that she is really going through a lot of changes in her life. She just sold her business, her husband passed away and she doesn't like the teachings of her church. We taught her the story of the restoration and the spirit was so strong. We invited her to be baptized but she said she couldn't commit right now. She told us that it's so interesting that we showed up because her best friend has been saying he wants to attend the LDS church. I told her that it is not by chance that we knocked her door, but that the Lord wants her to hear our message. 

Yesterday was good. I just love conference. And Elder Holland is the MAN! I love him. He is such a power house. I loved his talk.

When I was young.. conference seemed to take forever to be over. Now... It goes by too fast. I want more! hahah. I love conference and it was much needed. It was so uplifting to hear the great words of the modern day prophets. I feel refreshed and ready to do the work. :) I love being a missionary.

Saturday just made me so happy to be a missionary. IT made me not want to waste any of the time I have left here. There is a great work to be done in Salida and I want to see it accomplished.

Other than that, not much is new. Sister Hansen and I are getting along a lot better. She is funny. She is so innocent.  SHe has opened up a lot and we have good times together. I'm glad I'm training her :)

I love this gospel.

2 Nephi 2: 5-6. I read these and thought of the promised land as being the Celestial Kingdom. We can't obtain it wihtout the hand of the Lord, His atonement. :)

LOVE YOU ALL :)

-Sister Baker